Poetry

What Do You Do?

What do you do when your heart

begins to scream?

What do you do when your soul

begins to bleed?

How do you make tomorrow not

hurt?

How do you hold your head up,

when you know that tomorrow it will

hurt even more?

Can you make the pain go away if

you turn your back on it?

Can you make the oceans drain just

by wishing them away?

How do you stop the hurt when

there is no more love?

How do you go on living when there

is no more love?

What do you do when silence is the

only comfort to the sound of your

pain?

What do you do when there are no

more, I love yous?

Alone

Twenty people in the room and you

are the only one not really there.

Just you and your spouse are in the

room and you're still not really there.

You touch the love of your life and

they don't even acknowledge your

existence.

Are you really there?

The thought of loneliness begins to

come over you.

The thought of not being wanted

begins to swell in your heart.

Were you ever really wanted or was it

just an act?

The words, I love you, become a

consolation prize.

The thought of being touched now

makes you cringe.

You thought that part of marriage was

no longer being alone.

I feel more alone married than I did

single.

I AM

I am the person everyone chooses to

ignore.

I wonder if anyone understands the

pain I feel.

I hear them talking behind my back.

I see the hatred in all of their eyes.

I am the person everyone chooses to

ignore.

I pretend to not hear them talking.

I feel the fire of their souls as they

talk in whispers.

I touch very few people's hearts with

my words of wonder.

I worry if tomorrow I will die a horrid

death like on television.

I cry when I think about those I love

whom don't love me.

I am the person everyone chooses to

ignore.

I understand nothing when it comes

to my enemies who know nothing.

I say, "I love you" but I hear dead

silence as a reply.

I dream of a safe haven away from

here, this place of hatred and evil.

I hope that I can live a full life with

love eventually somewhere else,

other than here.

I am the person everyone chooses to

ignore.

A Pill Popper From Hell

They all go down just as easy as the

first.

My world begins to change, death is

all that could be worse.

Sadly enough it's hard to say, the

worst is also the best.

Down goes another pill, just as easy

as the rest.

The sun goes down and as they

always say, it rises the next day.

In the medicine cabinet, that's where

I am, that's where I play.

Up comes the moon, and it starts to

take funny shapes.

Each pill does, my mind, it rapes.

The start of a new life doesn't come

easy.

With the pills I feel happy and

sleazy.

Happiness is always found with my

medicine cabinet of pills.

I'm always looking for new ones, for

new thrills.

Place

Driven from world to world,

I do not know my place.

If you follow my steps,

A maze you will trace.

Differences in opinions

and sadness in eyes I have to face.

Through a short period of time

I have for my life I must race.

To be free is to be dead, but

I do need to get there at my own

pace.

In a different world

You come to see a different place.

In different eyes hatred and evil can

deceive,

but good is hard to find to trace.

If you are looking into a different

mind

You are looking into a different face.

You are on the track of life and

you've blown a tire

And now you are about to lose the

race.

So, hard you tried, but

Now you're falling at some else's

pace.

So I'm Dead

He swore to honor me forever.

He swore to love me forever.

He said he'd kill for me.

He said he'd die for me.

He said he'd die without me.

The same man who married me,

But he still left me,

For a big, fat, ugly, whore.

She took what was mine,

What I cherished the most.

She plays with it,

She rubs it in my face.

Star bright, start light,

Shooting star I saw tonight.

I wish I may, I wish I might.

Have this wish

That I wish tonight.

I wish for everything

To be all right.

Fat and ugly,

Not prettier than me.

Size five I am

Small and tiny.

Size she is, questions arise.

Triple 'X' comes to mind.

So sad, so bad,

Thoughts start to ponder,

Mind begins to wonder.

Bright light

In my rearview mirror.

Slam my breaks,

Death becomes nearer.

Sirens and lights.

Tunnels and angels.

Demons dance and flowers wilt.

The devil hath come.

He tried to take,

But too soon,

I had to wake.

Broken glass,

Lawsuit on my hands.

Tried to ride my ass.

Lawyer happy, paid alas.

The end is near,

Time is dear,

And she's a bitch from hell.

He said he'd love me forever.

Said he'd be with me always.

Said he'd never love another.

I think of her and I shudder.

Suicide maybe.

Murder a must.

Death is natural,

Expect it, tuff.

Shattering thoughts,

And sad visions.

You see a man's thoughts,

And his face is a whisper.

You try to cry,

But you can only cry so much.

After so long,

Crying doesn't do much.

Pistol in hand,

Death warrant in the other.

Three names on paper,

Three bullets in gun.

Shot one to the head.

Shot two in the heart,

Since he broke mine,

I destroyed his.

Shot three to the head.

So sad,

So bad,

So I'm dead.

Welcome Home

Welcome home to a world where the

lights never die, the

colors are endless and the noise is

forever.

Welcome home, the city never

missed you, didn't even know

you were gone. Never even new you

were here to start

with. So what's gone wrong.

Welcome home, happy birthday.

Another man has died,

child's been kidnapped and suicide is

many, but at least

you saw your birthday with pride.

Welcome home to a world gone

wrong the sky cries acid and

the beautiful view is gone.

Welcome home your love is few they

smile to you. The

beautiful and the bold live forever

this is told.

Welcome home to the end. You're

about to lose your mind

so make your visit short and take

yourself home in stride.

Wearing Your Sexuality on Your
Sleeve

Too many people believe that if
women are kissing each other or men
are kissing

each other in public that they are
flaunting their homosexuality. That
they are trying

to rub it in everyone's faces that they
gay.

However, when men and women are
kissing each other in public no one
ever

whispers and says, "Look how those
people are flaunting their
heterosexuality. They

should be ashamed of themselves."

Too many people believe that if
someone claims to be bisexual or gay
that, that

means they are incapable of being
faithful. Some even use it as an
excuse to be able

to promiscuous. However, cheating
is not genetic, unfaithfulness is not
in our

genetic make-up. This is a character
flaw of that individual person. We all
know that

straight people cheat as well. That
heterosexual men and women can
also be

unfaithful. The only way sexuality
comes into play with cheating, is in
regard to who

they cheat with. To say that the
choice of sexuality makes people
choose to be

unfaithful is to say that bi, gay or
straight, no one would be able to fall
in-love and be

faithful. Promiscuity has to do with
the person, not their sexual
preference.

Don't ask, don't tell. The military
holds this policy and it is sad really.
This policy is

a Band-Aid for the giant sore on our
society. The society that is incapable
of

opening it's eyes and seeing that the
world does not revolve around just
them and

their beliefs.

How unfair of you as a society to
make other people adhere to your
beliefs when you

won't to theirs. Just let live. In the
military, men and women, gay or
straight, all must

sleep in the same tents, often mixed
company. Gay, straight, bi, black,
white, yellow,

Christian, Catholic, Pagan and so on.
The thing is that even though men
and women

share the same tents, sexuality much
like skin and faith are not an issue.
You are not

men or women in that tent. You are
not a gay man or black women in that
tent. You

are soldiers. If you are incapable of
controlling your sexual urges
towards the people

you are attracted to, be it the same
sex or opposite sex then you don't
belong in that

setting. That is a character flaw that
makes you a risk for keeping others
and yourself

from doing the job of defending our
country, but your choice of sexual
attraction is

not the issue, and should never be.

Sexuality is on everyone's sleeves,
more so for the heterosexual
community. For the

homosexual community they try to
hide their sleeves for fear of
persecution, from

those that flaunt their sexuality. And
I choose the word flaunt because the

heterosexual community kiss in
public, hold hands in public, touch
each other in

public and show affection in public,
but when the homosexuals do it, it is
called

flaunting.

How dare we make people fear the
idea of falling in-love, and make them
terrified to

express their feelings when we do it
with no consequence.

So Close, but Yet Too Far Away

He says faith is in your heart

He says truth is all he speaks

How can I know he speaks the truth

How can I believe when last I
believed

So heart breaking it was to be

deceived

He says I should trust him because I

love him

He says that love will guide our
hearts

How can he speak these things as if

he believes

How can he tell me to go out on a
limb

When my past is so sad, so grim

He says he is not like all the others

He says he could never hurt me

How can I trust what he says

How can I believe in anything

anymore

When I've heard it all before

He says "I love you"

He says "I miss you"

How is that so when he doesn't call

How is that so when he knows he
can

see me

The truth, an illusion, a lie is all I see

He didn't hear me say good-bye.

He came home with orders to go over

seas.

We had discussed this situation

before.

I couldn't bare the thought.

The thought of him going to war.

I begged and I pleaded for him to not

go.

He told me it was his duty.

He told me he would return.

He told me we would win the war.

We went to the plane.

I couldn't face him.

He tried to say good-bye.

All I could do was cry.

He got on the plane and it took him

away.

I ran to the window sobbing.

I cried the words good-bye.

There was a knock at the door.

A telegram... We regret to inform

you...

I screamed in agony.

All I could think was,

He didn't hear me say good-bye.

Much to Offer

The single life offers no

commitments. It

offers no screaming babies at 3 am. It

offers

no crying wife when her cat dies. It

offers

no cooked meal when you arrive after

a long

day. The single life offers simplicity.

offers the bliss of constancy. It

offers

lonely nights in the dark. It offers no

comfort when your dog dies. The

single life

offers meeting other single people. It

offers

watching ex-girlfriends marry. It

offers

only your Mom on Mother's Day. It

offers a

frozen dinner on Valentine's Day.

The single

life offers the admittance to singles

night

at the bar. It offers Father's Day to

never

be your day. It offers no hand to

hold at

your mother's funeral. It offers no

hand to

hold on your death bed. Marriage

offers

kisses every day. It offers smiles

from your

kids. It offers unconditional love. It

offers

a hand to hold when on your death

bed.

I try everything

I try to not cry but what can I do?

I try to do things for him.

Everything I do turns out wrong.

Everything I say turns out bad.

I try to help by giving him a hand.

I try to help by staying out of the

way.

Everything I do I'm in the way.

Everything I don't do isn't enough.

I try to give my heart.

I try to give my love.

Everything I give isn't enough.

Everything I offer isn't returned.

I try to listen to his problems.

I try to offer advice.

Everything I listen to is pointless.

Everything I give advice on is wrong.

I try to be what he wants me to be.

I try to give everything he needs.

Everything I am is not enough.

Everything he needs is not me.